Okay, so maybe not all of the oxymorons, but quite a few.
For those that want a definition, an oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory words are put together in an unexpected way. Oxymoron comes from the Greek word oksús (meaning “keen”) and mōros (meaning “stupid”). So the word oxymoron is is actually an oxymoron!
Many of us use oxymorons all the time. Some examples, provided in a random order, include:
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- virtual reality
- unbiased opinion
- plastic silverware
- original copy
- modern history
- near miss
- free trade
- small crowd
- mutual differences
- nondairy creamer
- wireless cable
- recorded live
Maybe it would help if I used some oxymorons in a story. Despite being pretty ugly, I manged to end up with a gorgeous wife. At least, that’s my unbiased opinion. Now I know my wife loves shrimp so I picked up some fresh frozen jumbo shrimp for us to enjoy when we were alone together. Unfortunately Shannon thought they tasted freezer burned. I thought they tasted fine so that has become another one of our mutual differences.
I know it is bittersweet, but my opening diatribe should come to a close so I can tell you about what all we have coming up in the not too distant future:
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- Friday, April 5th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games. Come and join our small crowd.
- Saturday, April 6th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help. I may reminisce about the old technology oxymoron of clicking ‘Start’ to shutdown.
- Saturday, April 6th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions. This Saturday we are studying the Devil. Who is he? What does he do? How does he work? I bet our discussion will be devilishly good!
- Tuesday, April 9th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study. We may end up speaking some about our spiritual bodies.
- Wednesday, April 17th, 5PM – 7PM, Hoodwinked! ~ This is an animated mystery comedy film. It retells the folktale “Little Red Riding Hood” as a police procedural, using backstories to show multiple characters’ points of view and includes a singing goat, an inept actor, and a hyperactive squirrel. Everyone attempts to act naturally while being questioned by the detective.
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- Saturday, May 4th, All Day, 8th Anniversary ~ It’s International Star Wars Day, Our Store’s 8th Anniversary, our soda counter turns 100, our first cook out of the year, and our LEGO contest will be Star Wars themed! Did you know that our stools are covered in genuine imitation leather, better known as Naugahyde. More details will be coming soon.
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Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a pizza panini. Our soup is white chicken chili. Our specialty ice creams are Sugar Cookie and Roadrunner Raspberry.
Thanks and God bless
Sean
