Category: Newsletter

When I was there I heard the staff was getting ready for another shipment. I heard them call it, “In Depends Day.”

As we get ready for another Summer holiday and a chance to gather and celebrate I wanted to let everyone know that not only are we going to have amazing grilled food, but we will also bring back karaoke.

I have an interesting story about the last time I sung karaoke. While I was up on stage looking over my options I heard Shannon talking to a soda jerk working at the counter.

Soda jerk: Is he any good?
Shannon: I don’t know, whenever he starts to sing at home I immediately go out to the front yard to do some yard work.
Soda jerk: Why’s that?
Shannon: That way the neighbors can see I’m not hitting him.

We also have a LEGO competition coming up on Saturday, July 6th and it made me wonder, ‘How do the LEGO figurines celebrate national holidays?’.
A: They have a block party!

So are up coming LEGO competition has a patriotic theme.

I should probably mention some of the things we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Tuesday, July 2nd, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying Second Corinthians and this week we will be finishing chapter 3 and beginning chapter 4.
• Thursday, July 4th, all day, Independence Day ~ While this is truly something that goes on all day we will begin grilling delicious foods and having fun singing karaoke.
  • 11AM – 6PM, Grilling ~ We will be making our nearly famous hamburgers and a range of various loved tube meats.
  • 3PM – 4PM, Karaoke ~ Come and sing your favorite songs, or watch others sing their favorite ditties.

• Friday, July 5th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, July 6th, 11AM – Noon,
• Saturday, July 6th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
• Saturday, July 6th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions and rarely come to consensus. This time we are discussing, ‘When is pride OK?’.
• Wednesday, July 17th, 5PM – 7PM, How to Train Your Dragon ~ A hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself, and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.

• Every Wednesday in August, 5PM – 7PM, Rings of Power – Season 1 ~ An epic drama set thousands of years before The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, following the rise and fall of kingdoms and the re-emergence of evil in Middle-earth. We will watch the entire first season prior to the release of season 2 on August 29th.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a chicken, pesto, and roasted red peppers panini (changing soon). Our soup is our extremely popular is about to change to our White Chicken Chili. Our specialty ice creams are Dark Chocolate Raspberry and Peanut Butter Twist.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.

This weekend is my lovely bride’s birthday, and as one of my student’s pointed out almost 17 years ago, calling her my better half under sells how amazing she is. What that student actually said was, “For all I know, she’s your better three-quarters.”

Neil’s words rang true in my ears, so ever since, I have consistently referred to Shannon as my better three-quarters. So with her birthday coming up in two days I really wanted to get her something with a lot of diamonds, but then I double checked our bank account and decided the only way I was going to accomplish that was to buy her a pack of playing cards.

Be sure to stop in and share your favorite rendition of a birthday song with Shannon. I always believe that the inclusion of phrases like ‘cha-cha-cha’, clapping, and zoo animal noises make most songs better.

I should probably mention some of the things we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Friday, June 7th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, June 8th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
• Saturday, June 8th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions and rarely come to consensus. This time we are discussing is the Church an apostate.
• Tuesday, June 11th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We just finished studying First Corinthians and we are getting ready to study Second Corinthians, but this Tuesday is a social night we are all going to sit around and enjoy good conversation while eating snacks. In other words, it’s a lot like our regular study night with more snacks.
• Wednesday, June 19th, 5PM – 7PM, Ghostbuster: Frozen Empire ~ Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Ernie Hudson return to the Ghostbuster franchise along with Paul Rudd and others to try and save the world. Some one recently asked me if I thought a Ghost Buster would wear funny socks. I told them, “No. They would wear a pair a normal socks.”

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a chicken, pesto, and roasted red peppers panini. Our soup is our extremely popular Chicken Tortilla Soup. Our specialty ice creams are Coffehouse Cookies n’ Cream and Orange Blossom. Also, for a limited time enjoy our Elvis Milkshake at Lost and Found.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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Memorial Day last year was fantastic with the parade coming past our store. A level of pride could be seen in our community as everyone watched the participants. During the parade I overheard a kid’s question to his mother:

Kid: Mom, do soldiers ever go to heaven?
Mom: Of course they do! What makes you ask?
Kid: There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards.
Mom: Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.

Once again, the Penn Hills Memorial Day Parade will be coming past our store, and once again we are in an excellent spot to watch the parade as it makes its way from St Bart’s to the new Municipal Building on Duff. The parade starts at 11:00 on Monday the 27th, but they will probably close the roads about an hour in advance, so be sure to arrive early and enjoy some good company and amazing food. We’ll be making food on the grill including our nearly famous hamburgers, kielbasa, and all beef hot dogs. You can check out our order form in advance and start planning how you want to delight your taste buds. I would also like to let everyone know that the grills that I will be using were assembled in America. The box of components were imported, but I had to put it together myself in my garage.

While we all recognize the significance of Memorial Day, sometimes kids have questions. I remember one time when I had the opportunity to observe the following interaction:

A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”

Now that I’ve gotten those jokes out of my system, I should probably take a moment and mention what else we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Friday, May 24th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, May 25th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
• Saturday, May 25th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions and rarely come to consensus. This time we are discussing the New Jerusalem as discussed in the book of Revelation.
• Monday, May 27th, 10AM – 6PM, Memorial Day Cookout ~ We are getting ready for a cookout to kick off the Summer season. Our menu for the day is already available.
• Tuesday, May 28th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
• Wednesday, June 19th, 5PM – 7PM, Ghostbuster: Frozen Empire ~ Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Ernie Hudson return to the Ghostbuster franchise along with Paul Rudd and others to try and save the world.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a chicken, pesto, and roasted red peppers panini. Our soup is our extremely popular Chicken Tortilla Soup. Our specialty ice creams are Super Berry Acai (made with oatmilk) and Coconut Chocolate Almond Ice Cream. Also, for a limited time enjoy our Elvis Milkshake at Lost and Found.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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I ran into an old friend at the soda fountain who I hadn’t seen in years. He had a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. I greeted him and decided to serve him myself so we could catch up. I couldn’t resist giving him a hard time about his appearance.

“When did you become a pirate, Keener?” I joked.

He replied with a laugh, “Aye Parsons, it was about twelve years ago.”

“Wow, I was just kidding you, but now I have to know. How did you lose your leg?”

Keener took a sip of his root beer. “‘Twas a terrible sea battle. I stood bravely, directly facing 12 cannons. All they managed to hit was my leg.”

“But what about your hook?” I inquired further.

Keener took another long swig. “Arrrr, twas the day the British navy caught me. They tied me to the mast, I escaped by gnawing my own hand off.”

I was growing skeptical. “And how did you get that eye patch?”

Keener took another swig. “Twas a mutiny. Me own crew left me marooned on a desert island. But I had no fear. I lay down on the sand to wait to be rescued. As I looked up, a seagull flew over and pooped in me eye.”

“That’s ridiculous.”, I scoffed. “No one loses an eye from bird muck.”

Keener finished his mug in one gulp, and grimaced. “Twas the first day with the hook.”

About then Keener noticed my dog. I introduced him to Xanax.

“It’s good to have a pet. Over the years I had a couple of pets on me ship.”

“Really, what were they.”

Keener replied, “Well first I had a parrot, but then it flew away.”

I asked, “Were you sad when it left?”

“Aye, it gave me the cold shoulder. Then I decided to get a dog.”

“What was your dog’s name?”

“I named him Plank, because I was always taking him for a walk.”

Keener and I carried on like this for awhile. Finally I asked, “So what brought you this far inland.”

“Well, spending so much time in the sun I had started to become concerned about some moles that I had noticed. This was the earliest appointment I could get with a dermatologist, but required me to come pretty far inland.”

“That might be the first honest thing you’ve said to me.”

Keener carried on as if I hadn’t said anything. “I told the doctor, ‘I have moles on me back aaarrrghh.’ The doctor replied, ‘It’s okay, they’re benign.’ So I responded ‘Count again, I think there be ten!'”

At this point, I really felt like I needed to save face with Keener, so I tried to share my favorite pirate joke. “What’s a Pirate’s least favorite letter?”

Before I could respond with the punchline, Keener pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to me. The letter read:

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

Maybe I got a little carried away this week, but we just had a fantastic anniversary event at Lost and Found with a LEGO competition, live music on our stage, and lots of food on the grill. Our next big event is our movie night on May 15th when we’ll be showing Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, in two and a half weeks we’ll have lots of food on the grills again as the parade comes right past our pharmacy.

Let’s talk about what else we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Friday, May 10th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, May 11th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.  This does remind of the time I saw a pirate go to an Apple store. Apparently he needed an iPatch.
• Saturday, May 11th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions. This time our topic is ‘Debt’. It does remind me of where a pirate goes to get a good price on a hook. He goes to the second hand store.
• Tuesday, May 14th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
• Wednesday, May 15th, 5PM – 7PM, Pirates of the Caribbean ~ We are watching fantastic movie that has spawned numerous sequels since it was released over 20 years ago.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a chicken, pesto, and roasted red peppers panini. Our specialty ice creams is Moose Tracks, and for a limited time enjoy our Elvis Milkshake at Lost and Found.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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Shannon: So a big day is coming up.
Sean: Yes it is, I am really excited for May the 4th.
Shannon: Yep it’s International Star Wars Day and…
Sean: … our LEGO contest.
Shannon: Well yes and…
Sean: live music.
Shannon: Yes, but not really what I was hoping you would remember.
Sean: Oh, its an anniversary.
Shannon: That’s right. Which anniversary is it?
Sean: The anniversary of the first National Association Baseball League game.
Shannon: What?
Sean: Yep, Cleveland lost to New York on May 4th, 1871. It was a 2-0 shutout.
Shannon: I was hoping you would remember the store’s anniversary. It is the 8th anniversary of the store, but even cooler than that, it’s the 100th anniversary of the soda fountain equipment which was built in 1924!
Sean: Really?
Shannon: What do you do at our board meetings?
Sean: Mostly just doodle and try and make up jokes.
Shannon just shakes her head and walks away.

So on Saturday May 4th, we will be celebrating our anniversary event with a soda counter that is turning 100. Our counter has been visited by Elvis, Guy Lombardo, Babe Ruth, Richard Nixon, and other celebrities. To celebrate we will have food on the grill, a Star Wars themed LEGO competition, kids crafts, and live music. We will still have our Tech Help Group, and Bible Study as well. Also, be sure to stop in and say ‘Hi’ to Sasha, as it will be her first day back on the soda fountain.

Since it will be International Star Wars Day, it does remind me of a few Star Wars jokes.

Q: What is R2D2 short for?
A: Because his legs aren’t very long.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

I Have to admit the trying to come up with Star Wars jokes can be difficult. Sometimes they seem a bit too forced!

I should take a moment and mention what we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Tuesday, April 30th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
• Friday, April 19th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, June 3rd, All Day, 100th Anniversary ~ One hundred years ago a soda fountain set was built that has been visited by Babe Ruth, Elvis, and Nixon. We are celebrating its history this Saturday.
• Saturday, May 4th, 11AM – 5PM, Cookout ~ Enjoy one of our famous hamburgers, and hangout with everyone.
• Saturday, May 4th, 11AM – Noon, Star Wars themed Lego Contest ~ Elementary age kids can compete for free for the opportunity to win prizes. Fun will be had by all.
• Saturday, May 4th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help. This does remind me about a stormtrooper that bought an iPhone. Apparently he couldn’t find the droid he was looking for.
• Saturday, May 4th, 4PM, Live Music ~ Come in and join us for some live entertainment.
• Saturday, May 4th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a chicken, pesto, and roasted red peppers panini. Our soup is a sausage gnocchi. Our specialty ice creams are White Hhouse Cherry and Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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Okay, so maybe not all of the oxymorons, but quite a few.

For those that want a definition, an oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory words are put together in an unexpected way. Oxymoron comes from the Greek word oksús (meaning “keen”) and mōros (meaning “stupid”). So the word oxymoron is is actually an oxymoron!

Many of us use oxymorons all the time. Some examples, provided in a random order, include:

• • virtual reality
  • unbiased opinion
  • plastic silverware
  • original copy
  • modern history
  • near miss
  • free trade
  • small crowd
  • mutual differences
  • nondairy creamer
  • wireless cable
  • recorded live

Continue reading Oxymorons…all of them!

I think this coming Monday, I might fill a pharmacy vial with white Tic Tacs and down the whole thing in front of customers to get a reaction.

I have always loved pulling pranks on others (and being pranked in return) on April Fool’s Day.

There was the time back when fax machines printed from long spools of paper so I faxed a nursing unit a roll of printed paper towels (sorry to the old SNU floor at Suburban General).

Going even further back there was the time, as a kid, that I made ice cubes with Mentos and then poured a soda for one of my Mother’s friends. Let’s just say that my laughter was not the only explosive thing.

Clearly I’ve digressed and should move on to tell you about what all we have coming up in the not too distant future:

• Friday, March 29th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
• Saturday, March 30th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
• Saturday, March 30th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions. This Saturday we are discussing ‘Miracles’.
• Sunday, March 31st, All Day, Easter ~ Happy Resurrection Sunday!
• Tuesday, April 2nd, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
• Wednesday, April 17th, 5PM – 7PM, Hoodwinked! ~ This is an animated mystery comedy film. It retells the folktale “Little Red Riding Hood” as a police procedural, using backstories to show multiple characters’ points of view and includes a singing goat, an inept actor, and a hyperactive squirrel.

• Saturday, May 4th, All Day, 8th Anniversary ~ It’s International Star Wars Day, Our Store’s 8th Anniversary, our soda counter turns 100, our first cook out of the year, and our LEGO contest will be Star Wars themed! More details will be coming soon.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a pizza panini. Our soup is delicious pierogi soup. Our specialty ice creams are Sugar Cookie and Roadrunner Raspberry.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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Then Easter comes and we say, “Go and search in the dirt for candy a strange giant bunny left for you, kids!”

Q: What do you call someone who isn’t sure if the Easter Bunny is real?
A: An Eggnostic.

Continue reading 364 days of the year we tell kids, “Do NOT eat anything you find on the ground!”

 

We ended up having a fireside chat. After awhile I had to admit to him that the one thing more amazing than a talking dragon is a spelling bee. He gave me a smouldering look, but eventually he cooled off. He told me that he was so hungry this morning but had to wait to eat because of a dental appointment. I asked him what he ate afterwards and he told me, “the Dentist.”

Continue reading So I recently met a dragon while camping.

Xanax S Parsons recently spent some time at a local elementary visiting all the classrooms from Pre-K thru Fifth Grade. She had a fantastic time meeting many new children and seeing quite a few familiar faces. As a therapy dog she is well equipped to help children and adults deal with a lot of the challenges that come with this time of year.

Yesterday, I got so depressed I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records … Or that’s what I thought until I realized a cat had fallen in to the dryer.

I know a lot of people struggle with various states of depression this time of year. Do you know which state is most depressing?
Continue reading Don’t worry, be happy!