She caught him picking his nose!
Christmas is finally arriving in a little over two weeks and I’m so excited because this is the only chance I have to wear all my annoying Christmas gear and tell my extra awful Christmas jokes! Speaking of Christmas jokes here is what I like to think of as my snowman collection.
Continue reading Why was the woman offended by the snowman in the produce section?
So a health insurance plan with a four letter name is actively mistreating us. They have a commercial plan that individuals and small businesses have been purchasing through the health exchanges that is making a dramatic change to their pharmacy network. They are removing independent pharmacies, like us, from their network and they have sent letters to the various people in those plans telling customers to transfer to a different pharmacy. It is worth pointing out that if you did not receive a letter, you are probably not affected.
Continue reading It’s not so much that I brought a stone to a sword fight…
This Saturday is a day when you are encouraged to utilize the services and products of various small businesses like ours. This make me think about when our business was first getting started over 6 years ago. One of my friends arranged for flowers to be sent to mark the occasion and wish the Shannon and I luck.
The flowers duly arrived at our new business and and when we read the accompanying card we found it said, “Rest in Peace”.
I gave my friend a call and told him what the card read. He was really angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should consider this… somewhere there’s a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.’”
So my in-laws (not to be mistaken with the out laws) have this fantastically awful tradition of singing a turkey song that I’m pretty sure they collectively made up. I have, in more recent years, seen others perform it on YouTube and yet it somehow misses the simultaneously comedic and melancholy way that they perform it. Without any further ado hear are the lyrics to the song:
Shrek has been a pop culture phenom for over 20 years now, but did you ever notice how much he looks like the old wrestler Maurice Tillet?
He only believes 12.5% of the Bible. He told me he is an eighth theist.
We just finished building a prayer wall at Lost and Found. We want to encourage you to read the prayers on the wall and pray about them. We also want you to place your own prayers on the wall with the knowledge that others will then be praying for you.
I was recently asked that very question. I responded that it was the one from Sesame Street. They tried to tell me he doesn’t count, but I assured them he does.
I loved Transformers as a kid, but their toys were out my parents’ price range when I was growing up. I did have a couple Gobots and I used to pretend that my tinker toys could make cool Transformers, but that fantasy always fell flat the moment one of my friends would show up with Optimus Prime or Starscream. Now as a middle aged adult I’m well passed complaining about how expensive toys are. Now I complain about the cost of health insurance. My 2023 health insurance premiums went up 40% but I’m expecting to pay 30% less than the previous year. I won’t have any money left for food or mortgage so I’ll probably die half way through the year.
Continue reading Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?
Because it lost its contacts.
Some of you may have noticed that we are temporarily having some phone problems. We actually use VOIP phones which has specific requirements from our internet connection. Our internet service provider has, unfortunately, broken our phones. We are in the process of making some changes to get everything working correctly again, but it will like take till the 18th to complete. In the meantime we have all of our phone lines forwarded to just one cellphone. We are trying our best to respond to everyone as quickly as possible, and we appreciate everyone’s continued patience while we manage this process.
I have started to wonder what kinds of textspeak I will use as a senior citizen. The following is a brief list of what I have come up with so far:
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered by Medicare
FWBB: Friend with Beta-blockers
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!